The thoughts of a 40 something black mother and wife living in a post racial society.

The title of the blog “Not Your Baby’s Mama” use to be in reference to the idea that all black mother’s have chosen a life where they are not wives, but women who raise children by themselves. Yeah…I don’t care what you think anymore. Black women can be Baby Mama’s if they want. They can raise children with or without partners. They can do it all. Respectability politics are not welcomed in my 40s anymore. This blog is dedicated to the women like myself who are simply tired of not being represented.

So…here are my thoughts and a peak into my life as usually being the ONLY Black stay at-home mother.

9 thoughts on “About”

  1. There are a million “me too” blogs out here. (So much similarity from one to another) Because your story is underrepresented and misrepresented I’m looking forward to reading what you have to say.

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  2. Hello. I just started following your blog and look forward to reading your posts. I wish you all the best in your adventures as a stay at home mom. I’ve been home with my son full-time for a little over a year and it’s definitely been interesting!

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  4. “Also, all single black mothers did not knowingly make a choice to raise children by themselves.” Slow clap of approval. I hate even the suggestion that I am merely a “baby mama.” I was married a long time, then had children, and it should go without saying that my husband fathered those children, but I have to say it. Then he left and we divorced. In no way in my scenario am I just a baby mama. I am a divorced, custodial parent. I did not choose to have children outside of marriage, I did not choose to have children on my own. Am I single now? Yes. Am I a mother? Yes. But I don’t carry the banner for single motherhood, it is what it is. The degree to which a single mother is or is not honored depends on the situation, and how she handles the situation. It’s not automatic. For me, I did not aspire to it, nor do I put it on a pedestal automatically for every unmarried women with children. So let’s go from there. Thanks for this!

    Also, I appreciate it that you are talking about staying home with your child. Given the way the black “culture” is presented in the media and among ourselves, that could be a difficult thing to talk about. I think your point of view is a breath of fresh air.

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