My son has decided that sleep is no longer his friend. I really thought we were over this! He is 3 years-old and has been sleeping in his room for a while now. What has happened in my universe that this child no longer wants to sleep at night. Doesn’t he know I’m already stressed enough? Doesn’t he know that I need to blog about my life to stay sane? I mean, REALLY!?! It has been 3 days now and I refuse to let him sleep in my bed. I’m sorry, call me the mean mother if you want, but I nursed my son for 12 months and we co-slept and for that whole year, I did not have one restful night of sleep. I think I’ve paid my dues and I’m allowed to sleep in my bed alone without being kicked in the face. Unfortunately, I have resorted to sitting on the floor of his room, which seems to calm him down (I can’t stand for any of my children to cry themselves to sleep, NO JUDGEMENT THOUGH) until he goes to sleep. It takes all of 10-15 minutes, but I just don’t get what has changed for him. Hmm…maybe, it is because we have a guest here in our home right now?
My mother in-law is here. I use to dislike this woman with a passion. I mean, I really didn’t like her. There are no words to express how much we probably didn’t like one another. I believe the majority of our issues stemmed from a difference in culture. My mother in-law is Jamaican (fresh from the yard). She has not been Americanized at all. So much so that as I type this, I am really typing it in a Jamaican accent. I have this weird thing that I do when I get around people who have accents. I tend to take on the accent. It’s a bit embarrassing, but I can’t help myself. So, we started our relationship about 8 years ago with really not liking each other. I think that I didn’t show her the proper respect that she deserved. I’m just being truthful about it. I think I saw her as someone who knew my husband better than me, who could cook the food he liked better than me, and who was essentially trying to take over my house. On top of that, she is just a hard woman (you’re not going to get many smiles out of her). I think she saw me as young, an American, and arrogant. Being humble is very important in the Jamaican culture. In fact, it is one of the things that my husband admired about me, but women sometimes don’t show each other that side of themselves and that is where the conflict begins.
Today, I love her with all of my heart. It took me having my daughter child to really understand her. When she first came to the United States, I was pregnant and lost a child. She came to me and told me I would get over it. I thought that was the most evil thing a person could say to a woman who had just miscarried at 14 weeks, but looking back, I know that her intent was not to hurt me. She was trying to console me, but at that time, we spoke different languages. I didn’t get her and she did not get me. I have come to love her as I love my own mother and that is without conditions. When my mother couldn’t be there for my thyroid surgery, she came to my home and cared for my children so my husband could be by my side. She has prayed for me. She has talked me through some rough times. She has been my ally on certain situations with my husband. She is someone that truly cares about my family and making sure that it stays whole. There are no words to express the gratitude I have in my heart for my husband’s mother. I am so thankful for all that she sacrificed as a single mother of 4 boys working 2 jobs just to get by. A mother will sacrifice herself to make sure her children have it and at the end of it all, the least I can do is show her the utmost respect for giving life to such an awesome father and okay husband, just kidding, he’s alright as husband.
I think she can tell how much I care because she is not that same hard woman I met 8 years ago. We talk now and she laughs with me. I sometimes can even get her to crack a smile. On top of all of that, she is helping me plan a huge surprise for my husband. We (mostly her) are going to cook some of his favorites and freeze them for him, so he can enjoy his mother’s cooking when he gets home. How awesome is that!?! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIS FACE!!!!!!