In an effort to exercise my thoughts and writing, I have decided to put myself on a schedule with this blog. I need to get all this stuff in my head out and that is kind of why I created this blog, so…
Here is my schedule:
Sunday – Positive Start Sundays (My intentions for the week)
Monday – Motherhood/Marriage Mondays
Tuesday – Tell It Tuesday
Wednesday – Work it Out Wednesday (my exercise routine for the week)
Thursday – Reality Recap or Theater of Ratchet Reality Shows
Friday – Freestyle Friday (Poetry)
Saturday – Science Saturday
I want to see if I can do this for 30 days. The children are out of school. We are not on a schedule and I have a few goals that I would like to do long term that include me exercising writing. Wish me luck.
For my first positive start Sunday, I would like to make the intention to be more present. I have been struggling with remaining present because it is so much more easier to check out and be halfway here than to feel any type of loneliness or even resentment for my husband being gone. In the military, one typically shuts off certain parts of themselves in training and definitely in war. It is an effective way to get things done, but I am not at war and neither are my children. This week I want to play with my children and really look and listen to them. I want to work with them on our little homeschool lessons and actually take in everything my daughter says to me. My daughter talks all day long, but I noticed this weekend that she often feels unheard and that it greatly effects her confidence. When she feels adults don’t value what she says, she checks out and bottles it up inside. I want her to feel confident in her ideas and have the ability to express them wholeheartedly.
I have a problem with being all in or being present. I went and visited my family in Los Angeles and because I was mindful of my checking out, I made a point to really live in the moment. For the first time in almost 10 years, I felt like my family was my family. I have felt so distant from them. They didn’t seem real to me for a really long time and I struggled for a while to understand why, but I know that I never expected to see them again 10 years ago. I didn’t expect to come home from Iraq and I had in some ways killed them. When I returned home, I just couldn’t get that closeness back again. This weekend I felt it again and it was so heartwarming. I love them and they love me. The whole situation made me think about how many moments in life we miss when we are not mindful of the beauty of our surroundings. How many times do you go somewhere and take in everything around you? How many times do you sit with your family and make note of how they smile or raise their eyebrows? With all of the hustle and bustle of life, we forget the life we have in front of us, the people that love us, and the words that we absolutely need to validate from our children. My intention for this week is to practice mindfulness and really be present in everything that I do.