Throwback lesson from my momma: The value of teaching the children to say thank you for every damn thing.
I had an interesting discussion in my brain today about this thing called motherhood. I was pondering on what is this season in my life is all about. I never envisioned that I would be a stay at-home mother and the thought came to me that this has got to be the most thankless job I have ever had. Please allow me a moment to keep it real. When I wake up in the morning, I am allowed exactly an hour (no matter how early I rise) to myself. First, my son wakes up and demands at least 5 full minutes of cuddle time. The cuddle time is quickly followed by his declaration of hunger and my need to get him something to drink. In the midst of my son’s demands, my daughter wakes up in a funk (she is not a morning person) needing her cuddle time and to do her obligatory shoving of her brother. A fight typically breaks out while I remove myself to brush my teeth, fill my water bottle and take my thyroid medication. That is how my day starts probably 5 days out of the week. I cook breakfast. I clean up. I entertain. I find cool science projects. I teach manners and the value of not eating boogers. I do it all and I never once hear a damn thank you! I was thinking about this as I took my quiet moment in my toilet room this afternoon and it dawned on me after I saw fingers under the door, that these children don’t appreciate me.
As quickly as those thoughts came to my brain a question came to the forefront of my thoughts…Did you become a mother to be thanked? I did not become a mother to be thanked. I did not become a mother to be told that I do an amazing job. I, unlike a lot of mothers I meet, became a mother because I love my husband. I did not have an idea of some sort of parenting technique I wanted to use to shape perfect adults. I was in a romantic haze and the standout reason that I wanted to have children was to see what our (my husband and I) love could create. I know that’s totally sappy and probably irresponsible, but it is my truth. I also kind of wanted to have a child because doctors told me I couldn’t. I absolutely know what I did not want when I had children and that was to feel like they were work. Right now, they are starting to feel like work and I know it is partly because my husband is gone, but it is also because I am not taking the time to really enjoy them. I am focusing on my lack of personal space and time, not realizing that I have really good children who didn’t asked to be here. I will not be able to get these years back, so why not laugh at the fingers under the door in the bathroom or enjoy the cuddle time in the morning. Very soon, my children will no longer want to cuddle with me and it would really suck if all I could remember is my frustration and not my appreciation for their presence.
Current lesson: The value of appreciating my children being here and teaching them thankfulness by example.