7 minutes

On average, I speak to my husband 7 minutes per day.  I divide that 7 minutes between my son and daughter along with the necessary business we need to discuss.  I probably end up really talking to my husband for about 2 minutes per day.  I have in some ways lost a very important person in my life and I think I just came to that realization today.  Of course, I realized it before, but I don’t think it quite set in until today.  My teammate is gone.  I know that sounds incredibly sad, but the idea of having a teammate is something that I only dreamed of in my life.  My life is probably someone else’s nightmare, but it is my dream come true.  I actually have a teammate, who I like and want to grow old with.  How incredibly awesome is that!?!

My daughter had a school program today, which is probably the reason why I am reflecting on this.  I fully expected to go this program, enjoy it and get a little sad that my husband wasn’t there with me.  Surprisingly, my husband tried to Facetime specifically to see our daughter sing the songs she had been telling him about for the past 3 days.  My heart melted when I saw him and it made me love him so much more.  He didn’t get to see it because the internet connection was bad, but he saw her walk in and just the effort alone makes me incredibly proud of the man he is.  If you take into consideration that he is 11 1/2 hours ahead of us and probably dog tired with a crappy internet connection, he moved mountains to see his baby girl.  He is my dream come true.

It may seem small, but I grew up in a home where things like this were glanced over.  I was valedictorian at my graduation in elementary school and my father didn’t even show up.  I still hold that with me today.  When I told my daughter that her father had the chance to see her, her face lit up.  During our 7 minute evening conversation, he told her that he was proud and happy he got to see her walk in.  She could not have been happier.  I doubt she gets how awesome he is, but in a society where fathers who are not at war don’t think to call their children everyday for whatever reason, he’s pretty damn awesome.

Really, 7 minutes is not a ton of time to stay connected; however, it is more than enough time to show that one cares.

Wow…it has been a long time

Wow…

I haven’t blogged in a long time.  I have neglected this blog for good reason.  First, when my husband returned from training, my focus turned to our family completely.  I wanted us to spend every moment with one another and instead of coming to type on my computer, I found myself spending as much alone time as I could with my husband. Next, the stress of an upcoming deployment left me feeling uninspired to do anything.  I believe I went into survival mode and I’m not at all creative in that time.  Lastly, I just think I was downright depressed.  I don’t like my husband being gone.  I do not like parenting by myself.  I don’t like taking out the trash and I surely don’t like being a full time cook.  Okay, the last one is kind of a joke, but the truth is that I really like my husband.  It’s just sad not having him around.

After he left, I often would look at my computer screen with every intention to write, but nothing would come out.  I think I felt like I was stuck in between something.  He hadn’t quite left yet because he was in training in the States, but I knew the likelihood of seeing him again was slim.  He did return home and our visit was horrible for the first day, but we got it together and my heart ached to see him off again.  He is now on the other side of the Earth.  He is the sun and I am the moon.  When he rises, when we are going to sleep.  When we rise, he is going to bed.  He left on the day of the lunar eclipse and I found that very symbolic to what is happening.

Some say the sun and the moon are lovers, only getting a chance to be together at an eclipse.  The next lunar eclipse is in October.  I pray that my love comes home before the scheduled time and we are reunited when the sun and the moon meet again.